Hey Y’all

After not teaching for 6 months I decided to reach out for help with a GOFUNDME so that I could get back on track. I planned to re-start my teaching life on the Autumn Equinox with a Friday evening ceremony followed by a Saturday morning yoga practice. Perfect. I was excited. .

I found a gorgeous space to rent for 2 nights so that I would have time out of my parents place to stretch out and be fully present. This place, which used to be an old church, had two story tall stained glass windows, beautiful floors, and the quietness I needed. It was a dream space. Even though the events were virtual the visual backdrop would be stunning and part of the dreamscape of the practices.

I arrived on Thursday afternoon, unloaded all stuff, and took a long hot shower. I started setting up the space with lights, candles, and all the fixings for a beautiful Autumn Equinox Ritual. I took pictures, called my friends, made dinner, and finally stretched out in my king size bed ready to get a good nights sleep. Tomorrow was going to be amazing.

At 3am I woke up shivering. I gathered some blankets and crawled back into bed. Must be the Autumn wind. By daybreak my fever was well over 102. Every movement was painful. Even breathing hurt.

I called my mom, of course.

I shivered and moaned all morning with the unavoidable question lingering like a bad fart in a small room. What am I going to do about my events? I couldn’t barely think let alone face a reality that seemed more painful than the fever that was approaching 103.

I have to cancel, but everyone’s going to be so disappointed. I’m going let everyone down most of all myself. So many people donated to my GOFUNDME and this was part of my gift to them. Tonight is the start of me getting back on track. I couldn’t bear the disappointment and I curled deeper under the stack of blankets and quilts.

Reality and time were warped by the fever. Sometime in the late afternoon my fever broke. I took a shower and stubbornly decided that I could do this. I could rally. I am, as you know, a super hero. I ordered some food, hydrating beverages, and medicine to be delivered. I got this! I started setting up and stepped into the shower. Unfortunately, the shower washed away my cape and sexy super hero tights. The shivered returned full force and I was quickly back under blanket.

I managed to squeak out an email and post the cancelation on my website and on zoom. I crawled back in bed sick and broken-hearted. It took me 6 full days in bed to recover. My mom made me chicken soup and kept me hydrated. Mostly, I watched movies and slept. [see Movies I Watched While I Was Sick].

Yesterday was my first full day out of bed and I spent it grocery shopping, running errands, tinkering with my dad (who couldn’t wait for me to get better), cooking, and generally feeling grateful to be feeling better.

However, the disappointment still lingered and I wondered how I was going to recover. I sat down in the grass— beans on the stove and chicken in the oven— with the Autumn sun warming me and I opened my arms asking for inspiration, wanting so badly not to carry this disappointment with me into my fresh start.

Right then I felt the inspiration land, and as if carried away by the fall wind, the disappointment was gone. I already have an autumn ritual and practice planned. Why not just do it on the next new moon? I like to plan ritual and intention setting practices on galactic events, and the new moon is the perfect time to invoke the power of the cosmos to honor inherent change, set new goals, and reevaluate existing intentions…. And I will just simply start the Autumn Meditation Series next week.

So join me on Saturday evening, October 14th for a night of ritual and meditation and Sunday morning, October 15th for a jump start yoga practice. Same deal applies for all those who donated to my GOFUNDME.

Here’s to bumpy beginnings, releasing of disappointment, and embracing the imperfections that accompany being human.

Roger

Get all the details and registration info [HERE].